Life in the Mom Lane

What's This all About?

As a SAHM, (hopefully soon a WAHM) I am with my children 24 hours every day with very few breaks. With a toddler and preschooler, that is A LOT of work! My son has Asperger's and that in itself is a handful to deal with. Sometimes I wonder if this stay at home thing is for me. I said that to a "friend" of mine once. Her response? "How could you not love every minute of it?" She had been a SAHM as well, but unlike me, she really did enjoy every minute of it (according to her). As she continued to tell me how wonderful it was for her, I began to feel like total crap. Was there something wrong with me? Later, I realized that there's nothing wrong with me at all. I love my children and care for them just as much as she does hers. Just because mine make me want to rip my hair out and scream at times, does NOT make me a bad mom. Some days I really hate (is that too strong?) being here ALL DAY LONG, EVERYDAY. Then others I can't imagine doing anything else. All I needed from that friend was an ear and some support, but was left feeling inadequate and selfish. Why do mommies do this to each other? If we can't be there for one another, then who else do we have who will really understand. I don't for one minute believe that this friend of mine has never prayed "Dear God, please make this kid stop screaming before I go insane!" I believe that she thought to admit that would be equal to admitting that she is weak,not a good mom, etc. So, my goal for this blog is this: All Mommies Unite! Well, maybe that's asking a little too much. Ok, how about I will be honest about my struggles and hope that by doing so, I will help at least one mother not feel so inadequate or alone. All I ask is that being respectful to me and any posters, be top priority. Anyone is welcome, not just moms! My blogs will not be full of complaints! I have plenty of wonderful moments too. I just think that it is time for women, especially moms, to unite and support one another.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

To School or Not to School...

This summer, my husband and I have been faced with a tough decision. Do we send our 4 yr old to 4K or not? We are in the beginnings of getting him a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, as I have mentioned before. Among many other things, this disorder means that our son has a multitude of social issues. In short, when placed in a new situation, he reacts one of two ways: he completely freaks out and becomes demon-child-of-the-year or he completely shuts down and appears to be almost catatonic. When he gets comfortable in a situation he doesn't have the ability to know what is appropriate or inappropriate to say or do. We were hoping to have begun Occupational Therapy at this point so that he could have some of the tools that he needs and so that we would have the tools to make his life easier for him and his future teacher/classmates. In every other aspect, he is more than ready to begin school. His vocabulary is on a 6-7th grade level, he is beginning to learn to read, he can add and subtract simple numbers...the list goes on. I just cannot fathom sending him to school when I know that emotionally and socially he is not ready. I want him to have the very best possible school experience he can have. I don't want this "syndrome" to define him, but for him to be a better and stronger person because he can overcome the obstacles that it presents for him.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Praise for Those Before Me

For the past few days, it seems that everything that can go wrong has and everything that can break has broken. I just had a strut replaced on my vehicle after already replacing the fuel pump and alternator. Friday, it decided that it wanted to play with me some more and now needs a water pump and radiator. The plumbing in our house has been backing up every time I use the washing machine so I've been having to hand wash items that we need as we need them. In addition, our 2 yr old 50" plasma TV has been damaged by a power surge. What is ironic is that it was plugged into a surge protector. We aren't sure of the extent of the damage yet because we have it locked onto the wall and we can't find the key to the lock (surprise, surprise!). The surge protector was connected to a 3 prong adaptor which was melted by the power surge. Thankfully we were home and the house didn't burn down!

Because of all of this I have been very stressed out. Then I started thinking. These "hardships" are really nothing but inconveniences. So many generations before us had much less than we have available to us. And yet somehow they survived. Things could be so much worse. I have so much respect for the people who have lived through REAL hardship so that I could eventually live with so many conveniences. However, I do wish I could get one of those washboards they used.....

What helps keep you sane when faced with challenges?